AGENT PATRIOT: "Welcome, I am Agent Patriot of M.U.P.P.E.T. and these are my assistants, Agent B and B."
[We see Agents B and B]
ANGENT B (Bunsen): "Hello!"
AGENT B (Beaker): "Mee-o!"
AGENT PATRIOT: "Agent Frog, the wettest secret agent, needs your help on his adventures pursuing the villains before they take over the world."
AGENT B (Bunsen): "Yes, and with the help of M.U.P.P.E.T. Labs' new communicators, we along our fellow agents will help you out on your missions across the globe!
If the player chose Germany
AGENT PATRIOT: "Here is your dangerous mission, agent: famous musicians everywhere in Germany have disappeared without a trace. You will be assisted by Agent Woof."
AGENT WOOF: "Agent Woof at your service, M.U.P.P.E.T. Agent. My research indicate that all of the famous musicians in Germany have been kidnapped."
AGENT FROG: "Where do we begin, Agent Woof?"
AGENT PATRIOT: "I need you to head to the Der TeddyBar Toy Shop to begin your mission. Press OK to contact me when you get there."
Don't Toy With Me
AGENT PATRIOT: "Goldtooth won't get very far. Head over to Die Weihnachts Ecke, or the Christmas Corner, then press OK to contact me when you get there."
[We see Goldtooth inside a clock, running from a hammer toting figurine]
Goldtooth: [screams] "Help me, mommy! HEEEEEELLLLLLP!"
[Agents Woof and Frog chuckle]
If the player chose Mexico
AGENT PATRIOT: "This is Agent Patriot, and I have a mission for you: The town in Mexico is being terrorized by a swarm of giant lobsters, and it looks like King Prawn is behind all this chaos. You will be assisted by The Rat Pack."
The Rat Pack
Married to the Lobsters
King Prawn's defeat
[King Prawn falls into a pot of boiling water in Swedish Chef's kitchen. Swedish Chef says something in mock Swedish]
[King Prawn screams]
AGENT FROG: "Well, King Prawn. It looks like your goose is cooked."
If the player chose Norway
AGENT PATRIOT: "I am glad you are here, agent. I have another mission for you in Norway: the ancient golden chicken and the great egg diamond have been stolen by the evil scientist, Dr. Nose; there is no telling what may become of Norway if he succeeds? My fellow M.U.P.P.E.T. agent, Triple F will go along with you on your mission."
TRIPLE F: "Hey, why did the chicken cross the road? Give up? To catch an evil scientist named Dr. Nose! Wocka, wocka, wocka!"
DR. NOSE: "This time, no one can stop us, not even that meddlesome frog!"
AGENT PATRIOT: "It seems that Dr. Nose and his pernicious poultry posse have not given up his life of crime, M.U.P.P.E.T. Agent! Failure is not an option, and there is no telling what may happen if he were to take over the world!"
The Nose Knows
CHICKENS: "Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck..."
Dr. Nose's defeat
[Dr. Nose is fired right out of a cannon like a cannon ball]
DR. NOSE: "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME, FOOLS! NEVER!"
AGENT FROG: "I wouldn't be too sure if I were you, doc."
[INT: A JAIL CELL - DAY]
[Dr. Nose crash-lands right through the roof and right into the jail cell]
DR. NOSE: "Aw, nuts."
[Triple F is outside of Dr. Nose's cell]
TRIPLE F: "Hey, what do prisoners use to make their one phone call? Cell phones! AAAHHH! WOCKA, WOCKA, WOCKA!"
DR. NOSE: "OH, WILL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?!"
[INT: MUPPET HQ - DAY]
AGENT PATRIOT: "Good show, Agent Frog. You have placed Dr. Nose behind bars and recovered the ancient golden chicken and the great egg diamond."
If the player chose China
AGENT PATRIOT: "I'm so glad you are here, agent. I have a important and dangerous mission for you: a mysterious hypnotic jazz music has been playing all over China, and the Chinese acrobats have been affected by it. Our fellow M.U.P.P.E.T. agents believe it is the work of Hugo Sax, who plans to use his music to take over China and become Emperor. You will be assisted by Agent Groovester on this mission. Good luck! You will also need soundproof earplugs to block out the music."
HUGO SAX: "It won't be long before the citizens of China hail me Emperor Hugo Sax."
Tae Kwon Dope
Hugo Sax's defeat
AGENT FROG: "Hugo Sax, by the orders of M.U.P.P.E.T. you are under arrest!"
[He puts a pair of hand cuffs on Hugo's wrists. Hugo wakes up]
HUGO SAX: "Huh, wha-what?"
AGENT GROOVESTER: "Never mind, man go back to sleep."
[Hugo goes back to sleep]
AGENT GROOVESTER: "Let's get him in the car."
[Hugo is loaded into the paddywagon]
[INT: MUPPET HQ - DAY]
AGENT PATRIOT: "Congratulations, Agent Frog. A job well done. Thanks to you, Hugo Sax will not be troubling China anymore."
If the player chose France
AGENT PATRIOT: "Here is your mission: Priceless diamonds and clothing in France have been stolen. All my M.U.P.P.E.T. agents can find is this calling card."
[We see the thief's calling card with a picture of a Rose and a pig]
AGENT PATRIOT: "M.U.P.P.E.T. Agent Augh will go along with you on this dangerous mission. Good luck!"
Diamonds are a Pig's Best Friend
AGENT AUGH: "WO-MAN!"
AGENT FROG: "Woman? Are you saying the thief is a female, Agent Augh?"
AGENT PATRIOT: "I need you to go inside the Impressions de France theatre, then press OK to contact me when you get there."
AGENT PATRIOT: "Look for the display case with the gargoyle statue."
Ooh, La La
[Agent Frog smells rose-scented perfume on the calling card]
Falling in Louvre
AGENT FROG: "Piggy Galore? You're the thief? But why?!"
Piggy Galore's defeat and reformation
PIGGY GALORE: "All right, I give up! I'll give up my crime spree!"
AGENT AUGH: "WO-MAN! WO-MAN! WO-MAN!"
PIGGY GALORE: "Back off, fuzzy face!"
AGENT AUGH: "SO-RRY."
AGENT PATRIOT: "Don't think because you've decided to join us I won't be watching you, Agent Galore. I have eyes everywhere."
PIGGY GALORE: "And they'll all be blackened if you get in moi's way! I'll be good just as long as I'm with Froggy."
AGENT FROG: "Piggy!"
If the player chose Japan
AGENT PATRIOT: "Welcome to the team, agent. I have a dangerous yet important mission for you: Manga artists in Japan have disappeared without a trace, and M.U.P.P.E.T. agents believe that Ernst Scootro Gofer is behind all of the disappearances. My fellow M.U.P.P.E.T. Agent Elsa Scootro Gofer will go along with you on this mission."
[INT. M.U.P.P.E.T. HQ - DAY]
[We see Elsa Scootro Gofer walking across the room]
AGENT ELSA: "You must be Agent Frog whom Chief Agent Patriot told me about. I am Agent Elsa Scootro Gofer, and fortunately for you, I have been studying all about Japan, including the climates and the cultures. Are you ready for the mission?"
AGENT FROG: "Yes, I am!"
AGENT ELSA: "Great! When I discovered my own twin brother Ernst was behind the kidnappings of all the manga artists throughout Japan, Chief Agent Patriot assigned me to assist you on this dangerous mission."
[INT. M.U.P.P.E.T. HQ - AGENT B AND B'S LAB]
[We see Agent Elsa and Agent Frog walking through the door]
AGENT FROG: "Agents B and B?"
AGENT B: "Mee, Mee, mee mee mee mee mee me me me me me me me me me me mee me me me me me me, mee mee!"
AGENT B: "Ah, Agents Frog and Elsa!"
Zen and Now
AGENT PATRIOT: "I need you to go to the Zen Rock Garden and I will give you the directions.'
30 Seconds Over Tokyo
AGENT PATRIOT: "I need you to locate the Torri, the traditional gate of Japan. Then press OK to contact me."
Manga My Day
AGENT PATRIOT: "Go to the covered area of the Mitsukoshi store entrance, then press OK."
AGENT PATRIOT: "Make sure you are standing directly under the chimes."
AGENT PATRIOT: "Stand in front of the wind chimes and then press OK."
Finding the Manga Artists
AGENT FROG: "How did you get down here?"
FEMALE MANGA ARTIST: "I was taken from my art studio. The whole ordeal began when I received a strange package in the mail, and when I opened it...it turned out to be filled with knock-out sleeping gas, and then I fell asleep...and when I woke up, I knew I was in here and not in my art studio. That was when I met Ernst Scootro Gofer."
ELSA: "I knew it! I knew my own brother was behind all of the disappearances! He must have been kidnapping all the manga artists so he could force them to create a manga series based on himself!"
AGENT PATRIOT: "Go to the Mitsukoshi Store and then press OK to contact me."
Ernst Scootro Gofer's defeat
[The robot malfunctions]
[Ernst presses the emergency eject button]
[Ernst flies safely out of the robot and lands safely]
AGENT FROG: "Give it up, Ernst Scootro Gofer! It's all over!"
[The robot explodes as Ernst and Agents Elsa, Patriot and Frog duck]
[Ernst emerges from the debris to face his sister]
ERNST: "Yes, I admit it. I rounded up all the manga artists, so I could force them to illustrate for my own manga series; that way, I could release my manga series throughout Japan and make millions! I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for that meddling frog and that nosy sister of mine!"
[Elsa Scootro Gofer's arms are folded, as she glares at her brother]
ELSA: (shaking her finger) "I am very disappointed in you, Ernst! I'm telling Mom what you did!"
[Ernst gasps in shock]
[Elsa walks away]
[In panic, Ernst begins to run after Elsa]
ERNST: "Wait, Elsa! Come on, don't tell Mom! She doesn't need to know about this! Come back, please! Let's not be so hasty!"
BACK AT M.U.P.P.E.T. HEADQUARTERS - DAY
AGENT PATRIOT: "Well done, M.U.P.P.E.T. Agent! Thanks to you, all the manga artists are safe and Ernst Scootro Gofer will receive a good talking-to from his mother."
NEWSMAN: "Here is a Muppet News Flash! The Crown Jewels of England have been stolen by Constantine, the world's most dangerous frog and number one criminal. The notorious frog has recently escaped a Siberian Gulag just a couple of days ago. [To someone off -screen] Wait, what was that? Okay. This just in! Constantine has just been recaptured and is now back in the Gulag. The whearabouts of the Crown Jewels are unknown but, tune in as this report progresses. That is all from Muppet News."
AGENT PATRIOT: "I have a case for you in the United Kingdom: The Crown Jewels of England have been stolen and I believe Agent Frog has been framed for the heist! [As he says this footage of Constantine framing Kermit and Kermit's arrest from Muppets Most Wanted is shown however, Kermit is digitally altered to be wearing a suit]
CONSTANTINE: [in an obviously bad Kermit impression] "What are you saying Agent Pat-riot? I am right here. That frog who was arrested was Constantine who I am definetly not. HAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!
AGENT PATRIOT: I see. Now, as most of our other agents are on paid vacation, I am assigning three of M.U.P.P.E.T.'s newest agents to assist you on this very dangerous mission: Agent Newbie, Agent Flower Girl, and Agent Boom."
AGENT BOOM: (cackles madly) "Did somebody say 'BOOM'?!"
[Agent Boom pushes his TNT plunger, setting off an explosion]
AGENT NEWBIE: "Duck, everyone!"
[Smoke clears up]
AGENT PATRIOT: (coughing) "I wish you good luck! [whispering to the screen and pointing to Constantine with his thumb] Be suspicious of this obvious imposter. "
[CUT TO: PRISON CELL - DAY]
[We see Agent Frog in his prison cell a caption that says "Live from Gulag 38-B" is shown.]
AGENT FROG: "Listen, I know this looks very bad, but another frog set me up. He looks a little bit like me except for the mole on his left cheek. He goes by the name of Constantine."
Wanted in the United Kingdom
AGENT PATRIOT: "I need you to go to the Garden behind the Tea Caddy and find the butterfly box. Then contact me at once."
AGENT PATRIOT: "Stand by the butterfly box and press OK to trigger the mating call."
AGENT PATRIOT: "Well done, M.U.P.P.E.T. agent. Now we need you to head over to the Tea Caddy."
AGENT FROG: "Let me out of here, I am not a crook! I am a secret agent!"
NADYA: (off-screen) "Lights out! (The screen turns dark and clattering is heard) Turn them back on! I can't see anything! (The lights turn back on) You have to wait 'til I'm like out of the hallway. Is figure of speech!"
Tea for Two
AGENT NEWBIE: "Agents Flower Girl and Boom, I just got the word that Constantine's henchmen, Dominic Badguy, has been apprehended and brought in for questioning. However, Constantine is still on the run and he was last seen sipping some tea."
CONSTANTINE: "It's not easy being mean. Those foolish British police think that Kermit is me, Constantine, the world's most dangerous frog and number one criminal."
[We see Agent Frog attempting to escape the Gulag. Footage of Kermit's escape attempts from Muppets Most Wanted is used for this. Agent Frog gets out of bed with a spoon. He goes onto another bed in his cell. He moves his poster of Piggy Galore to reveal Nadya in the escape tunnel he's been digging. He screams]
NADYA: "Stop digging escape tunnel, frog."
AGENT FROG: "How did you know?"
NADYA: "It's the first escape everyone tries."
[CUT TO: GULAG - DAY]
(Agent Frog is in a line of laundresses disguised as a woman. He attempts to lift his basket. Nadya reveals herself to be in the basket.)
NADYA: "That's the second escape people try."
[CUT TO: GULAG TOILETS]
(Agent Frog climbs down a toilet. As he crawls through the plumbing, the sound of a toilet flushing is heard. He is seen about to climb out somewhere in the sewer)
AGENT FROG: Oh boy.
(He climbs out of another toilet. Nadya is sitting on a toilet next to him reading a newspaper)
NADYA: "Third way!"
(Agent Frog screams)
NADYA: "Give up, frog. I have Netflix account with search keywords: 'prison escape'. I have seen every prison movie ever made. Even the ones in space."
(Agent Frog sighs in defeat)
NADYA: "Listen, we have annual light-hearted gulag revue coming up, it is that or they riot. I thought you might help me."
AGENT FROG: "Oh. Well, uh the thing is, Nadya I'm sorta done doing that but, thanks for the offer."
NADYA: "This is not offer, this is prison! You are going to help me. Rehersal's tomorrow, 4 A.M.! Or I put you on...The Wall."
AGENT FROG: "'The Wall?' Why would I be afraid of a wall?"
[CUT TO: THE WALL - NIGHT]
(Nadya licks Agent Frog's back with disgust she throws him onto a steel icy wall where several inmates (including Pops, Gramps, Old Tom, Dead Tom, a whatnot and Brewster) are stuck)
POPS: "Just direct the show! You'll never escape!"
AGENT FROG: "What time did you say that rehersal was?"
(Nadya rips him off the wall. Agent Frog yelps in pain)
A Show-stopping Escape
AGENT FROG: "It's over, Constantine! We've got you now!"
CONSTANTINE: "Bah! You will never catch me for I am Constantine, the world's most dangerous frog and number one criminal!" [He laughs evilly as he flies away in a helicopter]
AGENT NEWBIE: "He's getting away! Now, Agent Boom!"
[Agent Boom appears behind Constantine in the helicopter]
AGENT BOOM: [cackles] "DID SOMEBODY SAY 'BOOM'?!"
CONSTANTINE: "Uh oh."
[Agent Boom pushes his TNT plunger and Constantine's seat explodes ejecting him from the helicopter.]
[Constantine is charred and is being restrained by Sweetums and Behemoth dressed as goverment agents. Constantine is thrown into a prisoner transport crate with the labels "EVILEN FROGGEN" and "SHIP TO: GULAG 38B"]
CONSTANTINE: "This isn't over, you gullible agents of M.U.P.P.E.T! I will be back for you have not heard last thing from Constantine, the world's number one criminal!"
AGENT FLOWER GIRL: "Oh wow, like, tell it to the judge."
AGENT FROG: "By the way, this belongs to you."
[There is a beauty mark in Agent Frog's hand. He slaps Constantine, placing it on his face. Constantine's crate is placed in a helicopter]
AGENT PATRIOT: [Pats the helicopter] "Take him away."
[The helicopter flies away]
CONSTANTINE: "YOU WILL BE REGRETTING THIIIIIIIIIIIIS!"
AGENT PATRIOT: "Agents, I would like to congratulate you on a job well done. Not only did you put Constantine behind bars, but you have made Agents Newbie, Flower Girl, and Boom's first mission go off with a bang."
AGENT BOOM: "DID SOMEBODY SAY 'BANG'?!!"
AGENT NEWBIE: "HIT THE DIRT!"
[Agents Frog, Newbie, Flower Girl, and Patriot duck as Agent Boom sets off another explosion]
AGENT PATRIOT: "Welcome, Agent. We have an important mission for you: all of the cable cars and cable car lines in Jamaica have been destroyed and tampered with. I am sending MUPPET Agent Cool Cat to assist you on this dangerous mission. I wish you good luck."
Jamaica Me Sweat
AGENT PATRIOT: "Head over to the Green Grotto Caves. Then press OK."
Fangs For Nothing
AGENT PATRIOT: "Go to the Jewels of Paradise. Then press OK."
[Fangs is electrocuted by the wires]
[The police arrive on the scene along with Agents Frog and Cool Cat]
AGENT FROG: "Fangs, by the order of M.U.P.P.E.T, you are under arrest!"
POLICEMAN: "Put your hands in the air, mon!"
[The policemen put Fangs into the police paddywagon]
[INT. MUPPET HQ - DAY]
AGENT PATRIOT: "Bravo, Agent Frog, a job well done. You have put Fangs behind bars and Jamaica is safe once again."
AGENT PATRIOT: "Welcome, MUPPET agent. I have a top secret assignment for you: The city in Canada is under attack by ghosts and bats, and it seems that Baron Dedmedi is behind all this trouble. Piggy Galore will assist you on this dangerous mission, and good luck."
AGENT PATRIOT: "Locate the Totem pole by the Northwest Mercantile store. Then press OK."
Baron Dedmedi's Defeat
PIGGY GALORE: "Nobody hurts my frog and gets away with it! Kiiiii-yah!"
[Piggy Galore karate-kicks Baron Dedmedi, sending him flying towards the frozen lake]
[We see Baron Dedmedi frozen solid in a block of ice]
AGENT PATRIOT: "Well done, Agent Frog. It looks like Baron Dedmedi will be on ice for a very long time."